The trailer for the latest revamp of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles has come out, and true to form the internet was in full swing picking it apart in as equal step as it was praising it. And, granted, constructive criticism is always valid. I, myself, found that what was shown offered us nothing new that other versions of the Turtles (and similarly-toned movies) haven’t already done a hundred times before beyond casting actual teenagers to voice these mutant teens for the first time. But that’s not what I want to talk about. I want to talk about one specific aspect of the criticism levied at the film; that being the reaction to April O’Neil, longtime Turtle companion since their inception.
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| The apparently puberty-inducing 1987 version of April. |
I’m confident in saying that a majority of those that consider themselves Turtles fans most likely became such because of one of the shows, movies or games more than the comics themselves. I know it was the 1987 cartoon that got me on board (although, it would still be almost 30 years before I began regularly picking up the books, and almost 40 before I bought any of the reissued toys). Reinvention has been a part of the Turtles’ DNA for a long time now, with each new project in the franchise remixing the classic characters and stories.
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| April's new evolution in a franchise that constantly evolves. |
That brings us to April. For Mutant Mayhem, April has been rendered as a Black teenager. This doesn’t become such a radical change when you realize the last animated series, Rise of the TMNT, also featured a young Black April. Not to mention there was a bit of racial fluidity on her part in the original Mirage comics (which were black and white) before the 1987 show cemented her as red-headed and white in many fans’ minds. And that’s how she remained while undergoing age, occupation and skill changes with each new incarnation.
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| Remember when April was Black like literally LAST year? |
So, along with the usual idiots crying that the Turtles have gone “woke” because April is Black, there was a particularly interesting new addition to that criticism. See, not only is April Black, but she was given a larger body type than we’ve seen previously. The criticism went from anything valid to just being about how unattractive they found April. Some going so far as to even outright call her “unfuckable.” I want to be clear that I throw no shade towards anyone who has found themselves attracted to a fictional character. I’ve had my share, and I just consider that a testament to how well everyone involved in the creation of that character made them feel real enough. But hating a character’s design because you wouldn’t bed them is something else entirely. That’s a really interesting line to draw in the sand, the sexual desire you feel towards a cartoon character determining how good it is.
To these people, I just have to say: seek help. Like, actual therapy. Because if the only way to get your jollies is by joining the ink ‘n’ paint club, you definitely have some kind of issue to work through. And, failing that, just remember: there’s always hentai.